I bet you know what I mean when I say “some days you just don’t have ‘it’.” I bet you’ve been there too. Days when you just feel like you don’t have that much to give. Days when you just don’t feel like you’re making much sense – even to yourself. It happens. It makes us human. You might call it tired, drained, exhausted, listless, out-of-it, apathetic. You might just feel like you don’t want to bother engaging – like you want to crawl back in bed and pretend the day never happened. You also might feel like you’re not good enough, or just not enough.
Sometimes this feeling goes on for more than a day. Sometimes it goes on for quite awhile. When it goes on for awhile, it may be that you’re depressed. When you’re dealing with depression it can be hard to get started – everything seems difficult. There is help. It can get better. If you want to know more about depression, about what it looks like, how to help yourself, or how to help someone you care about, take a look here. You can also take a test to see if you might be depressed.
Sometimes it isn’t depression, though, sometimes you just don’t have “it”! And that’s what I’m really thinking about today. Have you ever noticed that “it” seems to go in cycles? For awhile you have “it” and you’re on top of the world – so productive, things are going your way, you have energy, and the things you need to keep going just seem to magically appear? And then when you don’t have “it” all the opposites are true? When I walked into one of my classes last week, I could tell pretty quickly that none of us in the class had “it.” That happens sometimes too – groups all feed off each other’s energy.
I walked into class feeling ok, but the energy was so low, that mine started to plummet too. Or sometimes when a group is working together, the stress of deadlines means there’s spurts of busy, busy, busy, followed by a lull. I’ve often felt, in that lull, that I just don’t have “it”. Sometimes I’ve beaten myself up about it: “Why can’t I just get this done?!” or “Everyone else seems to be ok after that deadline, why can’t I be with it too?” or “I was working so well, what happened? What’s wrong with me?“ If you’re beating yourself up about this, it is possible you’re dealing with perfectionism.
I think this is a place where it is important to acknowledge that “it” really does seem to go in cycles. You’re not going to have “it” every single day. When you’ve been working hard or been very stressed you’ve been forced to have “it” to keep going. Of course there’s going to be a time when your energy dips! You aren’t perfect. No one is perfect.
My point is, it is normal to not have “it” every single day. It is normal not to be perfect. Give yourself the gift of self care when you need it. Give yourself the ability to just focus on doing what you can on a day that just isn’t your day. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that friends and family aren’t going to love you anymore or that you’re immediately going to be fired from your job. It doesn’t mean that the life you’ve been building is all immediately going to fall apart. It just means you don’t have “it” on that particular day. That’s all. It’s ok. You can congratulate yourself for being human like the rest of us. Hooray!
You may have noticed that this blog was posted on a Monday when they are usually posted on a Friday. Guess what? I didn’t have “it” on Friday. And yet, here’s the blog. Only one business day later. See? It worked out! The sky didn’t fall down. I’m relieved. I hope you will be too.
Like I said before, this feeling of not having “it” doesn’t always go away quickly. If you think you are depressed, making that phone call to ask for help can seem even more difficult. But you can do it. We believe in you. If you’re in the Orlando area, please do give us a call at Life Skills Resource Group at 407-355-7378. Our experienced Orlando counselors, psychologists, hypnotherapists, and life coaches are well trained in how to help. They’d be happy to work with you, guide you, and give you support. There is help, and you deserve help. With awe for your imperfect humanness, Krista