Feel, Process, Heal

John C. Maxwell

Since we have now officially entered the month of March, and with St. Patrick’s Day around the corner, I felt it would be appropriate to touch on the subject of luck.

Admittedly, I used to say that it’s not even as if I don’t have “good luck”, but that I actually just have no luck, or bad luck.

Seems kind of silly doesn’t it? Looking back on it now, it certainly does; but that was my mentality for far too many years.

That is, until I realized that you, and only you can CREATE your own reality; everything comes down to perspective. It’s not even necessarily that my “luck” changed, I just changed the way I began to look at things that were happening in my life.

Now, this is not to say that when bad things happen, I don’t feel upset or hurt, or a natural emotional response to these events- it’s just that I am now able to see the bright-side when faced with a situation that would have, in the past, made me feel a sense of hopelessness or shame.

It’s normal to feel… but once you are done processing everything it’s also healthy for you to leave the past,  exactly where it belongs, in the past. You must take each situation as a lesson learned; and truly learn from it.

So, how did I come to this revelation of sorts? Experience, time, personal development… I can’t pinpoint it down to just one thing, and I think that’s because it doesn’t take just one thing.

Sometimes we’re faced with troubling situations. The range of situations that can get us feeling down can span from something as simple as running late to work, to a breakup with your significant other/ loss of a friendship, to discomfort with your physical appearance, or a traumatic familial experience– irregardless of the severity of the obstacle we are faced with, we are impacted by them. So how do we move passed them once we’ve had time to work through them?

The first thing I found to be most helpful is to accept the fact that you are only human! Sounds like an obvious thing to point out, but sometimes when we are upset we can get lost in that emotion and forget to look at things in a more practical sense.

The next thing that has ALWAYS been helpful to me, is to have a great support system. It really doesn’t matter how many people you can go to to confide in; what matters is the quality of those connections. So who is your “go-to”?  Your friend, your counselor, your significant other, your pet, your sibling, your parents, grandparents… the list of options is endless! And, sometimes it really helps to know you’re not the only one who has ever felt the way that you do; but, even if your confidant can’t directly relate to what you’re going through just having someone you know you can lean on can make all the difference.

Third, pick yourself up and love yourself! I know this is something that may seem repetitive because we’ve posted about it a few times- but that’s honestly because I think it impacts the way that you feel about SO many different things in life. If you are comfortable in your own skin, and life, then you won’t be as worried about what other people are doing with theirs. Accepting and loving yourself is a vital component to getting over any emotionally challenging event.

Fourth, try new things that make you feel out of your comfort zone.

I know that when I first moved to Florida a few months ago, there was a point in time where I felt a sense of loneliness. Shortly after I moved here I had to take a medical leave from my two jobs and was going through a breakup from a long-term relationship. And here I was 1,000 miles away from home with nothing from my past with me except for some clothes and a couch. It can be scary to start from scratch, but that doesn’t make it bad. As I stated at the beginning of this blog, it is perfectly okay and normal to feel! So that’s what I did. I felt lonely, I felt upset, and I gave myself time to process all of this. But once I did, I also felt motivated to meet new people, try new things, and start this new chapter of my life in the sunshine state. I joined free meet-up groups for people in the area with similar interests as me. I tried a running club, book club, and of course, at my puppy’s training classes and at my new jobs I met some great people with similar interests, too. And now, just a few months later, I can say that I’ve met some pretty amazing people and made a few awesome friendships.

If you’re upset because you feel that you are lacking with social connections- join a group! If you’re feeling down about a breakup- get to know yourself better and spend some more time with friends who accept you for exactly who you are! Or, if you feel that your hurt is something a little more deep-rooted, or you just would like an outside perspective- try talking to a professional counselor! Having the proper support is vital in moving forward. Whatever your personal obstacle is, you can- and will- get passed it… it just takes time and some effort!

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Interested in learning more about the importance and benefits of self-love from our previous posts Increasing Your Self Love & The Importance of Self-Love? Just click on the post titles and the links will redirect you right to them!

– Virginia Johnson


Are you struggling with self-defeating thoughts, sadness, or do you feel stuck in your life, or simply feel that you do not  as you should? Sometimes having a partner in your journey can help. Give us a call  to set up a free phone consultation at Life Skills Resource Group Orlando at 407-355-7378, and one of our Orlando Individual Counselors, Orlando Life Coaches, Orlando Teen Counselors, and Orlando Child counselors would be more than happy to help you, a family member, or a friend work on changing your life.