Something that I often find myself doing is searching a plethora of different mediums for inspirational quotes. But, often times, the one’s I find to have the most impact on me are the one’s I stumble upon without even trying. It can be a lyric from a song I’m really listening to for the first time, a passage from a book I’m reading, or even just something I hear in passing. Inspiration is everywhere, you just have to keep your ears and mind open.
I’m not entirely sure what originally sparked my interest in this random pass time, but what I do know… is that I spend a few hours a week thinking about these quotes and reflecting on them.
This week, there was one quote I stumbled upon that inspired me for our blog.
Author, Brené Brown, wrote a book called Daring Greatly about embracing even your darkest secrets; and, how the power of vulnerability can really set you free. Within this book lives the quote that will be the focal point of this blog post, “When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending”.
I find this to be an extremely powerful quote.
Now, let’s be honest. There is not one person on this planet who has never felt ashamed of something that has happened in his/her life. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be something that the individual personally did, maybe just something he or she lived through. There is no way around it. And for some, there can be more hidden in the depths of their person than they’d care to admit.
But, what this quote is explaining to us is that by being so ashamed, and hiding these less than desirable things about us, we’re not allowing ourselves to move passed them- instead, we’re letting them define who we are.
Something that is very important to remember is that we are NOT what we’ve been through. And once we are able to accept those things, and not feel shame for living through them, or feel vulnerable for not being what you think others expect you to be; that is the real path to happiness.
Like I said before, there is not one person who doesn’t have something that they may have felt at one time or another had to be kept top secret in order for people to accept them. But, that is only because they themselves never accepted that “thing“.
Keeping this in mind, wouldn’t it just be a lot simpler to accept the less than desirable things about us and let go of that burden of constantly fearing being outted for it? If you can be honest with yourself, and then honest with others, what do you have left to hide? The “secret” no longer has the power to control you, because there is nothing left to be controlled.
And, the most important thing to remember is that those who are worth keeping by your side, will not judge you based on the things you’ve done or been through. So, one way to look at it is, is that it’s a win-win situation. IF your confidant can accept you for exactly who you are, flaws and/or rugged past and all, than that is someone worth maintaining a friendship with;
if not, then you still did yourself a favor by weening out someone who wouldn’t be there for you in your most vulnerable of times.
The people we surround ourselves with are supposed to support us, as much as we support them– that is a healthy and mutual relationship.
Through this beautiful quote, I was also able to find a truly touching blog on TinyBuddha.com, by Laurenne Sala that incorporated this quote in her writing as well.
– If you have the time, I really recommend reading her work. It is not only brutally honest, but empowering. It is an amazing reminder of what it feels like when you hit your lows, and how it is easy to feel as if you are not good enough because of them… and, it is a spectacular example of why we SHOULD accept and be our authentic selves.
– Virginia Johnson