Self-Compassion and Consistent Habits- An Essential Pairing for Emotional Health

Self-Compassion and Consistent Habits- An Essential Pairing for Emotional Health

Cindy Fabico, MA, NCC, LMHC, LMFT

As I waited for my friends to arrive for my birthday weekend I reflected on the path that I’ve been on over the last two years. The truth is I had some rocky years after my divorce in 2012 and I kept finding myself back in a place of darkness and self-loathing.

If you scroll back in my Instagram @cindypricefabico you will see that I had ZERO posts from July 6 2018 to October 3 2019. That is 15 solid months of feeling like the worst piece of shit on the planet, seeing no one but my clients and my children, and praying hard to not wake up the next morning. It was that bad. I think what made it worse was that I knew everything I needed to do to get back on track. I am an expert at that. I would continually start anew, but then the first day that I got off track I would beat myself up really badly and remind myself that I was unworthy to be take up space on this planet. I’m sure my clients noticed that I was different. That my light had nearly gone out.

Now, nearly 2 years later I feel so much compassion for myself and I feel confident that this compassion is the key to the consistent habits that keep me energetically aligned with source. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and I have come to the conclusion that while our bodies need tending for sure, it is our spirits that require the most care, attention, and love.

You see, you cannot fully control what happens with your body. You CAN fully control what happens with your spirit.
I have shared here before my set of daily morning practices, which take me 15-30 minutes, and my absolute certainty that they are responsible for my consistent mental health and the JOY you see radiating from my posts. Here they are again, because I know it might not have been the right time for you last time I shared!

THE PLAN

  1. Wake up at least 1 hour before you have to start getting ready for your day.
  2. Don’t touch your phone until you complete your Daily Spiritual Practices.
  3. Go to a place in your home that signals comfort to you. I like to go outside.
  4. Make your “resources” easy to grab- I use a “bag of tricks” to hold everything.
  5. Sit down, take a few deep cleansing breathes and set an intention for your practice.
  6. Read from at least one daily affirmation books – I use 2: The Daily Stoic and Guide for Spiritual Living from Science of Mind. As I read, I reflect on how the passage applies to my life. Some days I’m like “meh”, other days I’m like “wow-this is exactly what I needed”. On wow days I take a pic and post to my story because I think we heal the world by sharing.
  7. Then I write the same passage I write every day, something I learned from Gabrielle Bernstein in her book “Miracles Now”. It goes like this: Thank you universe for guiding my desire to _____________ (I write the first thing that comes to my mind). I surrender this to you and I trust that your plan is much better than mine. I then take that piece of paper and put it in a beautiful box where I save these intentions. Twice a year I release them by burning them.
  8. The last thing I do every single day is update my Aryuveda Planner (any planner will do and write at least three things that I’m grateful for.
  9. That’s it for what I hold myself to doing every single day, and it takes me about 15 minutes.
  10. Most days, I then meditate for 10 to 20 minutes. I like the waking up app, but there’s a number of great apps including calm, headspace, and insight timer. I suggest you find the one that resonates best with you. Learning to meditate is the key to managing your nervous system and no longer finding yourself acting or feeling out of control. If you want to understand more send me an email with the subject “Send me Why Meditate Doc”.
  11. Most days I journal about three pages, sometimes I use a journaling prompt, Sometimes I read a passage from a spiritual text and reflect on it, and sometimes I just write whatever is on my mind or that I need to work through.
  12. If you’re wondering if you could do these items in the evening, my answer is clear, items 1-9 really must be done first thing as they set up your day to be great. I know you can find 15 minutes. By doing your practices first thing, before your day begins, you will set yourself up for success. You are NOT going to be able to control what happens to you, but by doing a consistent set of practices you CAN take control of the aftermath of daily triggers and whether you react or respond to the events of your life.
  13. Please share this with others!!
  14. Pro Tip-plan to attend an organized retreat at least once a year. It is the best gift you can go with yourself and those you love.
  15. Scroll down for resource links

Some last words. If you would like some coaching on getting started I would love to work with you individually in 50 minute zoom sessions. Email me at cindylsrg@gmail.com. I will soon be doing one on one intensives in North Carolina (coming fall 2021). I also host affordable group retreats at The Healing Hostel with Amber, the first weekend of the month – September, November, January, March https://www.createwithamber.com/retreats.

Please begin your healing journey! You are worthy, you are loved, you are MAGICAL!

RESOURCES:

The Daily Stoic-366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living.Ryan Holiday https://www.amazon.com/dp/0735211736/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_F54YAFJ9VE1N17AFX9B7?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Guide for Spiritual Living, Science of Mind https://scienceofmind.com/subscribe/

Miracles Now, 108 Life Changing Tools for Less Stress, More Flow and Finding Your True Purpose, Gabrielle Bernstein https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401944337/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_FJVYJDSE8SQM2B49G472?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Ayurveda Planner, Kristen Lillian Schneider, https://wellblends.square.site/product/-50-off-sale-ayurveda-planner-2021/21?cs=true&cst=custom

Meditations Apps for the Apps Stores for IOS and Android: Waking Up, Calm, Headspace, Insight Timer. Each of these apps offers “How to Meditate Courses”, as well as a variety of other meditation resources and new meditations every day.

Journaling prompts: I am really enjoying Live in Wonder, A Journal of Quests, Quotes, & Questions to Jumpstart Your Journey, Eric Saperstone with Mirabella Love https://liveinwonder.com/products/live-in-wonder-quests-quotes-questions-to-jumpstart-your-journey

If are looking for help to get a handle in your busy reach visit our website https://www.lifeskillsresourcegroup.com/ or 407.355.7378 to schedule an appointment.

Cindy Fabico, MA, NCC, RYT200 Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist MT2724 Licensed Mental Health Counselor MH8555 Founder & CoOwner Life Skills Resource Group

Cindy