“We must be steadfast in our love for ourselves, both when we soar and when we stumble.” -Rolf Gates in Meditations from the Mat
Making mistakes is a fact of life. It is how I respond to my mistakes that makes all the difference.
Once I can fully accept the idea that I am doing the best I can based on my level of development, then I can dispense with beating myself up and grow from the experience.
My clients often show up in my office for the first time after making a mistake that has drastically changed the trajectory of their life and their response to this mistake has them stuck. They can’t yet let go of the error and move toward using it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
In our conversations we explore how 5 actions can transform their experience**:
- Forgiveness: Coming to accept human imperfections and moving toward incorporating the belief that holding onto resentments against self and others changes nothing constructive.
- Choose: How do you want to feel? That is a choice that you can make every day! Danielle LaPorte’s work taught me this concept and I share it with my clients every day. Making this a choice and then finding a way to incorporate it (sticky note, etc) affects how you experience everything. So you can choose to feel shitty and guilty and angry OR you can choose to feel triumphant.
- Change: Seems obvious yet this is the step most get stuck on. We work to create awareness of the patterns of behavior that lead to circular results and then make a plan to address this. Accountability from another person hugely increases the odds of making it past this step.
- Learn: Mistakes create opportunities for expanded self understanding and learning new ways to respond to events and feelings.
- Grow: All of these steps result in personal growth through new ways of experience and being in your world.
All of this is hard work and takes considerable effort, on a daily basis. Go easy on yourself as you begin to “know what you didn’t know before” and take note of your growth as stop repeating behaviors that lead discomfort.
** (some of this content is inspired by Tracy Brown RSP, in her daily reflections in The Guide for Spiritual Living from Science of mind 8/20/2020) To learn more http://scienceofmind.com . I highly recommend their monthly magazine and this NOT a religious, it is a philosophy)
If are looking for help to get a handle in your busy reach visit our website https://www.lifeskillsresourcegroup.com/ or 407.355.7378 to schedule an appointment.
Cindy Fabico, MA, NCC, RYT200 Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist MT2724 Licensed Mental Health Counselor MH8555 Founder & CoOwner Life Skills Resource Group