You Can, and should Trust Yourself

You Can, and should Trust Yourself

Elena Sledge, M. Ed

Here’s a scary thought: You’re all you have. Why would I say that?? Well for one, because it is fundamentally true. You probably have friends, family, a significant other. But as long as your feet stand on this earth, you are the only guaranteed constant presence. You may not like this thought. I didn’t for the longest time. I grasped for external validation, support and comfort so that I DIDN’T have to face myself. That was the whole point. 

At some point, through therapy and life experiences I stumbled on the power of trusting myself. Recognizing my fundamental isolation in this world did not feel terrifying, it felt freeing. I was able to tap into the belief that I could rely on myself. 

Fostering this belief didn’t suddenly make life experiences easy or keep me from turning to loved ones for support. What it did do was transform my internal emotional process of getting through life. 

There’s a lot that can get in the way of trusting yourself. Trauma, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts…the list is really endless. If you have experiences that rob you of trust it becomes incredibly difficult to make sense of your world. Because these experiences are painful, you determine that you need help. Which is true, but along the way, you lose the knowledge that you can help yourself. The concept of trust and help is totally externalized. Helplessness develops to the point where there’s no internal foundation to stand on.

Start with An Affirmation

Affirmations work because our mind believes what we repeatedly tell it. You may not believe the affirmation at first, or even for a while. Keep going until it feels even a little bit true. Consider a negative statement you could replace an affirmation with. For example, if you’re always saying “I’m a failure” then replace that with “I trust myself.” This affirmation can be written, spoken aloud, recited every night or every morning. Get creative with it and create a ritual around it. 

Invest in Therapy

Another process that takes time, but is so worth it. Trusting myself came from many hours spent sitting in a large armchair across from my therapist. We all need someone who listens without judgment, supports us, challenges us, and cares with empathy. A good therapist should easily provide all of those things and create a protected space. You will feel free to express fears, discuss issues and 

Take Manageable Risks

My first therapist, Susie, told me this once and I’ll absolutely never forget it. Big leaps and decisions feel quite hard when you don’t know how to rely on yourself. Think of smaller actions that can be made that will propel you forward or build confidence. Look for little chances to expand your world. I’d bet there are a few things you can do that feel scary, but still doable. 

If are looking for help to get a handle in your busy reach visit our website or 407.355.7378 to schedule an appointment.