The following is adapted from the wonderful book Self Creation, by Dr. George Weinberg. Dr. Weinberg is a Psychotherapist practicing in New York, with a doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University. He has written twelve books and is published in twenty-three languages. He has also written for popular and professional journals, and for television. Dr. Weinberg is known for several major contributions to Psychotherapy.
…many of us want to succeed-but also want not to. We’re inhibited about success. Along with our obvious wish to make good is a secret wish to sabotage the whole thing. Somehow there’s a hidden reward in failure…
6 Signs That Inhibition Is Getting the Better of You
1. Repeated avoidance of a desired activity. You want to ask a certain someone out, but keep backing down at the last minute. Then you hate yourself for being a coward.
2. Extreme self-consciousness. You’re always watching yourself like an outside observer. Evaluating. Did I do better or worse last time? How well do most people my age do?
What do my peers think of me?
3. Over-concern about the environment. You want to do a painting, but first you have to wait until the room’s been fixed up, you’ve found the right clothes, and the light is perfect.
But maybe this isn’t the right room to paint in after all.
4. The feeling that you’re unlucky. Circumstances keep thwarting you. You plan to show guests your artwork, but there just doesn’t seem to be any break in the conversation. Or the weather changes on the night you were planning to go to a special event, and you’ve got nothing appropriate to wear. The fates are always against you.
5. A sense that your body keeps getting in the way. Just as someone asks you to speak in public, you start to feel dizzy. You’re willing, but your body seems to feel otherwise. You get suddenly sick or exhausted-or you may even feel almost paralyzed.
6. Feelings of unreality. As you begin to speak to an audience, you get the sense that it’s someone else talking. You mentally detach from your own actions.
Go through with it anyway.
Don’t give up on whatever you’re trying to do-especially if you’re convinced that you’re botching it. Giving up reinforces a sense of incompetence; Going on gives you a commitment to success.
Keep painting, even if the light isn’t perfect. Keep speaking, even though you may stutter.
Whether on not to act is always within your full control.
As the wise and wonderful Tracy Chapman sang, “If not now, then when? If not today, then why make your promises…?” Consider Life Coaching or Counseling if the “6 Signs” seemed like they were written about you. Check out the Life Skills Resource Group Our Team page and give us a call here in Orlando. Oh, and give a listen to that Tracy Chapman song, “If Not Now.” It’s spectacular. Kim
To Contact: TherapistKimMurphy@gmail.com