In today’s world it can be hard to accept the end of a relationship. In a society where it seems like you MUST have a significant other to feel good about yourself, being single can seem like a total failure. But is it really a failure? Is an ended relationship truly a sign that you have done something wrong with your life?
As a result of this belief and fear, many individuals end up staying in a relationship way past its expiration date. For me, I believe that while ending a relationship may not seem thrilling or even comforting, staying in a relationship despite knowing it is not meant to be can be far worse. We also often don’t notice or even ignore the signs that it is time to say goodbye to our relationship.
Recognizing these signs develops our self-awareness which is an essential skill within adulthood. No one wants to look back on a relationship and wish they had ended it sooner. So what are some signs that your relationship has come to the end of its journey….
- You don’t trust your partner
I think we can all agree that having trust in a relationship is essential. And while we often believe that trust is dependent upon our partner’s action, it in fact comes from within. We must be able to trust our partner not contingent on what they do, but in general. Trust truly comes from our own self-esteem, and lack of trust comes from our own insecurities. If you find that you cannot trust your partner, and they haven’t done anything to break your trust, then you must start some work on yourself.
- Your partner has “potential”
We all want growth within our relationships– from our partner, us & the relationship in general. But if you feel that you need to keep pushing or are holding out for your partner to become the person you want, it probably means that you are not in the right relationship. This doesn’t mean that people cannot change and grow, but you shouldn’t base your happiness on your partner changing into the person you want them to be.
- You would inspect their phone if you could
If you are dying to check your partner’s phone the second they leave the room or receive a text message, this is a red flag and sign you need to work on yourself. Inspecting one’s phone ties into the concept of trust, and if you are always looking for something such as a text from a suspicious person, then it is time to take a step back and reevaluate your relationship.
- You’re unable to be yourself in the relationship
Far too often I hear my friends say they don’t feel like they are truly showing their partner who they are, in all aspects of their life. Not being able to fully express who you are, in every dimension possible, is limiting and not the right relationship for you. Through your relationships, you should grow into the best version of yourself. You don’t want to look back and think that your partner doesn’t really know who you are, or you had to hide parts about yourself to fit the role within your relationship.
- You point out more wrongs than right
Do you find yourself focusing on all the things your partner does wrong, and not focus as much on what they do right? If so, then unfortunately it may be time to end the relationship. No one wants to be told that they only do things wrong, it just isn’t fair. If you see this pattern within yourself, it is time to start doing some work on yourself, whether in the relationship or out of it; and it does take a lot of work to get rid of this pattern and it can be hard to stay in the relationship while you work on this.
Even though being single may scare you, it is sometimes what is best for you. Recognizing signs that say “hey, this relationship is not turning out how it should be” can take a lot of time, self-awareness, and work but it must be done in order to allow yourself to be truly happy even if that isn’t until later on. Something I like to think of is, what would I tell a close friend or family member if they were struggling in a relationship and showed these signs… Would I tell them that it’s fine and to keep going, or would I suggest to really make sure that this relationship is best for them.
If you’re struggling with your relationship and whether or not it has fully run its course, give us a call at at Life Skills Resource Group at 407-355-7378 to schedule a free phone consultation. Our Orlando Individual Counselors, Orlando Couples Counselors and Orlando Marriage Counselors would be happy to talk with you individually or as a couple to help you with this decision and give you the support you need.