This week Cindy Fabico, founder of Life Skills Resource Group discusses the 4 signs that one or both partners are withdrawing from the relationship and how seeing a trained marriage counseling professional can restore the connection that feels like it has been lost.
Cindy Fabico, MA,
LMHC, LMFT
Founder of Life Skills Resource Group
At Life Skills Resource Group, we have three Orlando marriage counselors who focus their skills on healing broken marriages; Cindy Fabico, MA, LMHC, LMFT; Risa Bos MA, LMHC; and Kelli Skorman, MA, LMHC. We know that finding the right therapist to suit your needs can almost be as difficult and confusing as trying to fix your own marriage. That’s why we offer you the opportunity for a free phone consultation with our therapists, prior to scheduling your first session.
In a safe, supportive, confidential environment Cindy, Risa, or Kelli can help you and your spouse to restore the love, trust, companionship, respect, passion and fun that may have disappeared from your relationship. If you are on the fence, wondering if you really need to see a marriage counselor (maybe you’re thinking if you just stick it out this “rough patch” in your marriage will pass), please consider the following, adapted from the brilliant and informative (and research based) book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail…and How You Can Make Yours Last by John Gottman, Ph.D.
“The four stages people seem to go through when withdrawing from a marriage”:
1. You see your marital/relationship problems as severe. Your problems have gotten so complex and intense that you’re not sure that you even love each other anymore. There is so much bitterness, pain and lack of respect between you that you are no longer capable of having good times together.
2. Talking things over with your spouse/partner seems useless. You feel hopeless about being able to salvage your relationship by communicating with your mate. You may try to avoid certain kinds of interactions with your partner, or try to convince yourself that you’re not upset by their actions when you really are.
3. You start leading parallel lives. You occupy the same house, but not the same universe. Although you live together, you rarely connect emotionally, physically or spiritually.
4. You are lonely in your marriage/relationship. You feel so isolated that there’s little difference between your marriage and living alone. This can make you vulnerable to having an affair, if it hasn’t already occurred. People who reach this point don’t necessarily divorce. But unless they seek each other out, and in most cases get professional help, the marriage is for all intents over…”
If some part of the four stages described above seem to be written specifically about you and your spouse, take heart. Marriage/couples counseling is readily available to help you address and resolve these complex and painful issues. You don’t have to make it through another week, month, or year of feeling hopeless, helpless and alone. Just as you would seek the services of a trained professional to repair your car or prepare your taxes, you should seek the services of a professionally trained and experienced marriage counselor to repair your marriage.
If you’re feeling like your relationship is not quite as far down the road to ruin as described in the four stages, that’s great news! Family and Marriage Therapy is not only for those who are facing the potential end of their relationship. It is also for loving couples who are committed, yet struggling. It’s for people who recognize that they have lost something special that once existed between them and want to reconnect and get it back. Cindy, Risa, and Kelli are available for free phone consultations to help you clarify your goals for your marriage and determine if therapy is right for you. Call our office at 407-355-7378, send an email to [email protected], or reach out one of using the contact information on our personal page. We will set up a time for you to begin to repair the most important relationship in your life. Please don’t wait any longer. Now’s the time to act.