More often than not, many of us get caught up in the idea of happiness as a destination. But, in reality, it’s the whole experience and journey of life that is happiness.
Viewing happiness as a destination is like chasing waterfalls; you’re never going to obtain it; because happiness isn’t a place… it’s a state of mind- a state of being. Which is why it’s so important to cherish every moment and be fully present in the now.
Sometimes, we forget what it really means to live. To embrace all that life has to offer us, and to be in the moment, instead of constantly striving to get to your next “stop”. It’s almost as if we set a goal, and push ourselves to the limits to get there, but then, when we finally do achieve this goal, we don’t even care. We automatically set a new goal, and now make that our new mission.
We get so preoccupied with what are next step should be, that we aren’t even acknowledging how far we’ve already come. It would be a shame to live our entire lives thinking back on the past, and striving for the future, yet never enjoying the present. Seeing as the present is the only thing we have any kind of control over, or say in, wouldn’t it make the most sense for us to be the most aware of it?
I know how this falls into that category of “easier said than done“- trust me, I am well aware. But that is exactly why I chose to talk about this concept in our blog this week. Because it IS easier said than done. And yeah, it sounds great in theory (as many things do), but it’s also important to provide someone with tools to implement when we give them ideas or advice to follow.
It’s also important to remember that since we were raised in a society that is constantly striving for greatness and the next best thing, it will be difficult for many of us to just BE present in the moment. A great aspiration would be to have goals, because we always should want to be the best versions of ourselves, but to enjoy the process and journey of reaching our best selves. So, it’s not as if we have to stop being ambitious or goal-oriented in order to be present- that’s not at all the case– we just have to remind ourselves to be present and enjoy the journey. The highs, the lows, the flat-lines; all of it! There can always be a take-away from any situation- you just have to be in it in order to learn from it.
Okay, but how do we go about living in the moment? Great question… Although we can all have our own approach to this lifestyle, Luminita D Saviuc wrote an excellent article about it outlining 15 things to “give up” for a more present and fulfilling life. Here is an excerpt from her blog, “15 Things you should give up to be Happy”:
1. Give up your need to always be right
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:
“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer.
2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be.
3. Give up on blame
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk
Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
5. Give up your limiting beliefs
Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible.
6. Give up complaining
Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you.
8. Give up your need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you.
9. Give up your resistance to change
Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
10. Give up labels
Minds only work when open.
11. Give up on your fears
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it.
12. Give up your excuses
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them.
13. Give up the past
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life.
14. Give up attachment
The moment you detach yourself from all things (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and selfless, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist), you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live… They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
Like what you’ve read so far? Click here for the full article from upliftconnect.com !
– Virginia Johnson
Are you struggling with living in the present moment, enjoying what life has to offer or living for yourself, or are you just interested in talking to someone about things going on in your life because you simply feel that you do not as you should? Sometimes having a partner in your journey can help. Give us a call to set up a free phone consultation at Life Skills Resource Group Orlando at 407-355-7378, and one of our Orlando Individual Counselors, Orlando Life Coaches, Orlando Teen Counselors, and Orlando Child counselors would be more than happy to help you, a family member, or a friend work on changing your life.