It has been a month since I posted. This is not because I have lacked inspiration, I feel inspired daily to share what I learn from the amazing clients and friends who grace my life. My issue has to do with time management. You see I am a playful spirit. While I have great intentions to write, I most often find myself out with friends or even with myself having fun.
Take today for example. When I was planning my weekend on Thursday my intention was to spend Sunday at home quietly reflecting and writing. As you can see from the photos of my day, something very different came to pass. But do you know what? I would not change a thing about that. That is exactly who I want to be and this was reinforced in an article that Sabina posted on our Life Skills Resource Group Facebook page (like us we post inspiring stuff) entitled “5 signs you are not respecting yourself”. The article is worth checking out and made me feel good about my priorities. It also caused me to reflect on just how much I have changed over the years. I forget how much negative self talk used to be a part of my life. I can’t exactly put my finger on when it all changed, certainly not at the moment I decided to become a therapist. I can point to one event in particular that was ongoing for several years and that I believe had a profound impact. My good friend Karen Walsh and I ran life coaching groups based on the book Take Time for Your Life by Cheryl Richardson. In this book she refers to something called “the art of extreme self care”. The truth of the matter is that if we do not care for ourselves, we have nothing left in the tank to give to others. This inspired me to do some more reading and I found this article on psych central entitled 3 Self-Care Strategies to Transform your Life. This article is based on the work of Cheryl Richardson. I recommend checking it out.
So as I am sitting at Eola Wine company, listening to an amazing DJ, watching cool people stroll by, enjoying the breeze, eating some brunch, sipping my mimosa, and continuing my journey toward Becoming Cindy; it occurs to me that maybe it is time to revive the Self-Care groups. I continue to see clients, both men and women, who have a difficult time making themselves a priority. By the time they get to me they have often worn out their bodies, their minds, their relationships with others, and they are completely puzzled as to why their lives are not working because they “give so much to others” and are “such good people”. When I ask them questions such as: What are your hobbies? What would you do for fun if money was not object? Where would you like to travel?, they often look at me with blank stares. The idea of thinking of themselves is so foreign that they no longer know what is fun for them. Often when sent home with these questions and similar ones as homework they cannot come up with much and feel a sense of shame about this. Caring for others without caring for ourselves results in losing touch with the essence of who we are – the flame becomes low on the vital unique spirit within. It is our job and no one else’s to reverently care for our unique self, to keep that flame alive.
So ask yourself, what do I do to show myself that I am special and loved by me? That I am a human being and not a human doing? I challenge everyone reading this to consider leaving a comment on at least 1 thing they plan to do for fun for themselves this week. Don’t wait for others to take care of you. Care for yourself. Have a love affair with you because you are an amazing and unique being with something very special to share. The better you care for you the more you are able to share yourself and care for others.
If your are interested in participating in 10 month long self-care group (I know it sounds like a long time but it is really only 20 meetings and imagine who you will be by this time next year?) that will start in mid January 2015 and run through October 2015 please send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or call our office at 407.355.7378. I will be traveling from 12/4 to 1/3 so I plan to get the groups organized before I leave. The groups will be bi-weekly, Mondays, beginning mid January, daytime group will be 11:30 to 1, evening group will be 7-8:30. I can only take 10 people per group, this will be a life coaching and not a counseling format so if you know me in my personal life it is ok to attend :). Cost will be $30 per session and if you have Cigna EAP you will be covered completely, there will be no out of pocket cost. If Monday does not work for you still email I may consider adding an additional day at a separate location.
It is interesting how things come out if you follow the universal flow. I had no idea when I started writing this that I was going to offer a group but now I think it is a great idea and I am very excited about it. Enjoy your week!
If you or someone you know is having a difficult time with self care, talking to a therapist may be a good start in your journey toward learning just what a blast you can have with yourself, the first step toward loving you. Visit Life Skills Resource Group Orlando to get started and give us a call at at 407-355-7378 to schedule a free phone consultation. Our Orlando Mental Health Counselors and Orlando Life Coaches would be happy to help you, your kid(s) or your relationship get on the right track.
Peace, Namaste’, Sat Nam,