A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog about Brené Brown’s Rising Strong, a book where she introduces a three-part process to help us sort through our (often) negative emotions when feeling we have failed. (You can check it out here: https://www.lifeskillsresourcegroup.com/friday-book-review-brene-brown/). Today, I want to invite you to focus a bit more on the second part of this process, “the Rumble,” because it is a helpful tool to utilize in all aspects of our lives. It is not only helpful when it comes to dealing with something that didn’t go the way we envisioned, but it is also a useful check-in that we can welcome and practice when in relationship with others.
We make a lot of assumptions in our lives because our brains are wired to make sense of what is happening, very quickly. Accurate or not, our brain is content with figuring it out (a survival mechanism). However, in our rush to create a narrative, we often make up stories that are not in alignment with what actually happened. If we are able to pause, take a break, and regroup, we might be better able to see the bigger picture, the true picture. When we can notice our triggers, feel our emotions, and acknowledge our emotions, we can then take a deep breath and ask the question, What do I really know? Try not to rush to make up a story about what is happening…but sit with the feelings for a bit and get curious about what they are about. What is fact, and what is an assumption you might be making? Hmm…
A couple of examples of assumptions we might be quick to make: Have you ever felt that someone is ignoring your call or text on purpose? Did someone give you a look you interpreted as something negative? Little things we might take personally most likely have nothing to do with us. I’ll write about taking things personally in another blog; for now, I invite you to practice “the Rumble” with me- when you are triggered by something or someone, pause and notice, feel it, breathe. Try not to make up a story about it, ask questions if you need to and are able to, and respond to the truth, not the assumption. The practice is not easy, but I promise it is worth it.
If you are getting stuck in this process, we are here to help. Please give us a call give us a call at 407-355-7378 to set up a free phone consultation at Life Skills Resource Group.