One of the most common pieces of advice that you will hear from others is to make sure you do things for yourself. Put yourself first. Make yourself your “number one priority”. Because, if you do not take the best care of yourself, how can you properly aid others?
For instance, if you have a friend who is struggling with self-esteem, but you are someone who isn’t well-versed and comfortable with your own self-love, are you going to be able to get the real message across and help this friend see all of his/her worth? Even if you mean every single compliment and encouraging comment, it may be hard for them to take everything you say for what it is if they are also well aware of your own self-deprecating thoughts. “How can you tell me to think like that, and act like that, when you are just as bad as me about this stuff?” And they are right. No matter how amazing your intentions may be, it is hard to take advice from someone who doesn’t practice what they preach.
Bare in mind, this is just one example of an infinite array of situations this issue could apply to. So, even if you do practice healthy self-esteem, are there other areas that you could probably work on for yourself before helping others with?
… I thought so! And that’s not because you’re less than anyone, it’s because we ALL have areas of improvement! We ARE human, after-all. That’s why it is so important to implement putting yourself first and making yourself your number one priority. Because as much as we want to help others, we also need to help ourselves; and, in order to be the best service for others, we must first work on becoming the best versions of ourselves.
And although this is excellent, and accurate, advice and information- it can come off as one of those “easier said than done” bits of wisdom. Especially since half of the time, when we are receiving this advice it is from people who are like-minded to us and tend to put others before themselves, as well.
So, how do we take this advice and and transform it from an idea and into an action?
I’d love to say that “it’s simple!”, but that isn’t necessarily true.
The most important step to making this goal achievable, for people who like to help others before themselves, is to remind yourself of why this is so important:
1.) In order to best help others, we must first help ourselves.
2.) It is most effective when one leads by example.
3.) If we expect others to see their own self worth, we must first be able to see our own.
The main takeaway from this post is that we all have areas for improvement. We shouldn’t necessarily turn the other cheek if a friend comes to us with a problem that we may have ourselves, but be honest! If you both struggle with self-esteem you can work on it independently, and as a team!
We are all different, and that’s okay… in fact, that’s great. If we were all the same, what could we bring to the table that was anymore helpful than the other person? Our differences are what make us unique; they are what create the foundation for change. They are not flaws or aspects of ourselves to be ashamed of.
Tell yourself that- and keep telling yourself that until you really understand and believe it! And with that knowledge, you can help make a positive change in someone else’s life.
Are you struggling with keeping a positive mindset, putting yourself first or recognizing your own self-worth, or are you just interested in talking to someone about things going on in your life because you simply feel that you do not as you should? Sometimes having a partner in your journey can help. Give us a call to set up a free phone consultation at Life Skills Resource Group Orlando at 407-355-7378, and one of our Orlando Individual Counselors, Orlando Life Coaches, Orlando Teen Counselors, and Orlando Child counselors would be more than happy to help you, a family member, or a friend work on changing your life.