Rule 1: Keep it private (no fighting in front of others).
Rule 2: Schedule your arguments (ask for a time and place to discuss your differences).
Rule 3: Stay on topic (don’t let the discussion turn into a dumping session).
Rule 4: Allow Time Outs (when it gets intense or overwhelming).
Rule 5: Limit the Topic (pinpoint and agree on what you’re fighting about).
Rule 6: Offer solutions with criticisms (with a positive attitude and a desire for harmony).
Rule 7: Don’t make generalizations about your partner (“You always…” and “You never…” won’t help).
Rule 8: Set off limits topics (no below the belt stuff, like weight gain or parenting style).
Rule 9: Don’t save up anger (release complaints gently from time to time).
Rule 10: Learn the art of the apology (being right should not be more important than maintaining harmony in the relationship).
– from the article entitled:
How Not to Ruin a Marriage: A Veteran Counselor’s Ten Rules for Fair Fighting
“When you’re wrong admit it; when you’re right, shut up.”
Published on January 14, 2012 by Victoria Costello in Awakening Psyche
Taken from the book: The Everything Guide to a Happy Marriage (2009/Adams Media).
If you need more help with your relationship, please contact us at Life Skills Resource Group in Orlando at 407-355-7378 to set up an appointment with one of our Marriage/Couples’ Counselors: Cindy Fabico, MA, LMHC or Amanda W. Persaud, MS, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, Intern.