Recently, I had the opportunity to sit and talk with Cindy Fabico, MA, NCC, LMHC about her approach to individual and couples counseling at her practice, Life Skills Resource Group in Orlando. I must admit that I was the only one sitting, as Cindy was so enthusiastic about her role as a therapist that she remained standing almost the entire time. I hardly had to ask her anything, as she was so knowledgeable about her field that she required no talking points from me. The following is a brief summary of what was said during that conversation…
According to Cindy, we’re always sending ourselves messages, both good and bad. But what do they mean and how do we know which ones to listen to? Well, in therapy, Cindy begins by helping her clients to develop an awareness of those messages and how to track them (consciousness). She teaches her clients to acknowledge that the negative is real, but that they’re not going to fixate and focus on it. They can’t dwell on it. They must grieve what was and move on to what is. They learn to not dwell on the future, either. For if they focus on thoughts like “When ________ happens, I’ll be happy,” they won’t be doing anything about it in the meantime. They learn to stop being miserable and self-medicating with food, alcohol, sex, etc.
Cindy points out that if you want to be in shape, you go to the gym and eat right. If you want to be happy and feel good about your life, then you actively practice every day. How? You focus on what’s good instead of what’s bad. You take a good look at the people you spend time with (and make adjustments). If they’re not supporting your health and growth, what’s the use of being around them? You read books and journal. You exercise and get enough sleep. Cindy finds that by doing these things, people can change how their brains work. Even those who may be more prone to depression can rewire their brains for happiness.
Cindy says that the HOW of change is simple, yet it can be the most difficult endeavor of a person’s life journey. You can become locked into familiar patterns of attitude, behavior and action. Breaking out of these “chains” often requires someone like her, a neutral third party, who can help you take a hard look at decision making. For example, if a client were to come back and tell her that they did not follow through on the goals they set the previous session, she wouldn’t get upset with them. Instead, she would shine a bright light on the events of that week, and help them look at what may have gotten in the way of change. Cindy would help them to see that this is just another version of what has always prevented their success.
Sometimes clients will try to sell Cindy on the validity of a stumbling block. She often calls “BS” on this. Cindy recommends that individuals and couples who are not looking for someone who speaks honestly, openly and directly should seek therapy elsewhere. The truth hurts. As Cindy aptly says, “We cannot change and stay the same; growth is a painful process.”
If you are ready and willing, a qualified Licensed Mental Health Counselor is necessary to facilitate this kind of life transformation. That’s where Cindy’s enthusiasm comes from. She has seen the positive results of her work in the lives of the many clients she has helped over the years. Cindy Fabico creates supportive relationships with her clients, which allow them to eliminate the stumbling blocks to achieving their goals. She provides guidance, based on vast experience and training, to help her clients repair their lives and renew their relationships. She offers her clients a way to live the lives they’ve always wanted, but believed to be out of reach. She’s pretty excited about that.
Having said all that about counseling, Cindy adds, “Sometimes you just need someone to reinforce common sense on a regular basis.” Cindy is surely up to the task.