Tips for New Year Resolutions

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How often during this time of year do we hear the phrase, “New Year, new me!“?

And, typically, shortly after, we see those same people disregarding those same goals and starting back at square one. 

But, the truth of the matter is that a person’s inability to follow through with the goals they have set forth for him/her self usually isn’t prompted by a lack of interest in accomplishing those goals, or a lack of desire to achieve it- but more so, poor planning.

We all have goals in life; big, small, and sometimes somewhere in between. It also doesn’t really help that we happen to live in a society that strives for instant gratification. Together, this blend of having various goals of  different magnitudes, and the need to accomplish them fast, is a recipe for disaster.

As an example, if your goal is to go from a more sedentary lifestyle, to kicking yourself right into gear and hitting the gym 7 days a week, you’re bound to give up on that goal and decide that a more stationary life is the life for you. Not because you don’t want to be more active, but because your essentially turning everything you know from your daily routine, and way of life, upside down at the drop of a hat; and, your prime motivator is that, now, when you write the date it will read “2017” instead of “2016”. But your body doesn’t know that. That’s why when I found an article be Samy Felice, I felt it was something worth sharing… because he talks about a method for change called “compass goals”.

From this article, you will learn the difference between compass goals and traditional goals, and why setting goals from this mindset has been more effective for the author:

Compass Goals vs. Traditional Goals

A goal becomes a compass goal when it improves your present in a meaningful, exciting way. It’s there to teach you something about yourself and the world, but you’re not too attached to the outcome you’re going after.

With a series of compass goals, life becomes a mixture of interconnecting wormholes that move you toward greater growth and fulfilment.

Pursuing goals is a lot like riding a bicycle toward different destinations. You need to know when to speed up, based on the terrain that’s in front of you. You need to know when to slow down, based on the obstacles you eventually come to face. And you have to make those decisions while remembering that you want to get to those various places on time—while maintaining your sanity throughout the journey.

Even more importantly, you need to know if a goal or destination is even worth going for in the first place. You can’t take a trip to a planned destination lightly, and some goals will take longer to reach. The exploration we’re about to delve into will show you exactly how to decide which of your goals are worth going for, and how to go about pursuing them.

Qualify your Goal to see if it’s a Compass Goal

While the destination does matter, compass goals, by their very nature, value the journey just as much.So, whenever you set yourself a goal, imagine you’re about to jump on a bike to set off to a new destination and ask yourself these four questions, before kicking your foot on the pedal:

The Compass Goals Checklist:

1. Is this goal something I can see myself pursuing with excitement, despite its difficulty? Does it give me rewards along the way?

2. Can I write a set of daily or weekly actions that I’ll stick to consistently, adjusting them when necessary until I reach my goal?

3. Do I have a way of measuring my progress? (Compass—more on this later)

4. Will I be okay with not getting the outcome I want because I recognize how much value this journey will provide me with regardless?

The last question (being okay with not reaching the result) helps you relieve an enormous amount of pressure. If you’re okay with not getting the result you want in advance, you don’t live in a make-it-or-break-it paradigm. Instead, you live in a playground that leaves you free to achieve something if you’re willing to do what it takes.

What this blog post teaches us is that it is great to have goals of all different sizes and magnitudes, but, it is most effective to approach the goal from a more pragmatic vantage point. Samy stresses the importance of setting a limit between 3-10 compass goals per year, and that the toughest/most important aspect is to try to get your different compass goals to align with one another. In other words, it wouldn’t make much sense to have goals that interfere with the success of one another (i.e. increase salary and travel the world).

Samy believes that one of the most effective aspects of this method is that it requires you to map out how you will go about accomplishing your goal. This was also a tip one of my high school teachers clued me in on when it came to articulating the framework for papers I was writing. Physically writing down what your goals are, whether in life, or for a paper, can help assist you more in achieving those goals. When you write something down, it can feel more permanent– more concrete.

I encourage you to read Samy Felice’s full article How to Set New Year’s Goals You’ll Actually Enjoy Pursuing for a full explanation on what a compass goal really is and his experience with using this method.

 

– Virginia Johnson

 

Are you struggling with mapping out your goals, sticking with your aspirations, or are you just interested in talking to someone about things going on in your life because you simply feel that you do not as you should? Sometimes having a partner in your journey can help. Give us a call  to set up a free phone consultation at Life Skills Resource Group Orlando at 407-355-7378, and one of our Orlando Individual Counselors, Orlando Life Coaches, Orlando Teen Counselors, and Orlando Child counselors would be more than happy to help you, a family member, or a friend work on changing your life.

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